Is a Flow style of Leadership possible?

Leadership is all about influence. The greater the sphere of influence – the greater is your leadership.  Employees follow an Influential leader because they want to – not because they have to! It is not an obligation, but a passion to perform as a group led by a person who can influence you.

Such leadership requires the following:

• Passion
• Energy
• Enthusiasm
• Integrity
• Humility
• Communication skills
• Intrinsic motivation to lead

Most or almost all of the above happens naturally when the leader is in a FLOW STATE. The mind takes the challenges positively and works on providing solutions that go beyond the self.

Csikszentmihalyi, the first person to coin the term FLOW says  the flow is “a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience is so enjoyable that people will continue to do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it” (1990)

When you LEAD INFLOW – you are at your peak performance level, you are not stressed and you are delivering your best. For this to happen, you need a state of mind that is calm, composed and not affected by the negativities that surround you.

This does not come easily. There is a need to first understand the mind and how it works.   The way it processes information and how it tends to influence you internally and externally- before even you start influencing others

Flow is achieved when the human subconscious can shine beyond the protective barriers of the conscious. To do this you need to understand and nature and characteristics of the subconscious mind. This is what we train in our “Lead in Flow wokeshop.”

You get to how the Mind operates, the components of the conscious mind – Cognitive mind, Intellect, Ego, and Memory and how they influence your life. The subconscious mind and its nature and characteristics and how to tap into its power to achieve a state of flow wherein you achieve all your goals with ease and in alignment with the universe.

Anchoring: (NLP) Techniques to Get in The Divine State of Mind

Anchoring is a technique that is used by many people unknowingly and can be used intentionally with NLP techniques.

Anchors are triggers for different states of mind; you may want to feel more confident when making a business phone call and an anchor can grant access to the confidence you have in other situations that are not currently available when making business phone calls.

Anchoring is not just for positive emotions, but to feel a specific way. Anchors can be set up in different ways and are very powerful when used intentionally with NLP techniques.

Anchoring works well because you already have certain states of mind that come effortlessly to you; anchoring simply gives you access to these states easily by using an anchor or multiple anchors.

Anchoring can be used for any state of mind, even negative emotions that you may need to avoid in certain situations; this would work by using a different anchor or multiple anchors when the unwanted emotion is present.

Anchors are created through an internal or external stimulus which then leads to a response. The stimulus doesn’t have to be a conscious one, and it is possible to create anchors with certain words or sounds.

Anchors can also be created when you think about something that then leads to the feelings associated with that thought; this type of anchor has been referred to as an “internal” anchor because there was no external stimulus involved in creating the response.

We all know that having a positive mindset is important for success, but it’s hard to stay focused on our goals when we are constantly being distracted by the negative things around us.

When you hear someone complaining about their job, or how busy they are, it can be easy to fall into this trap of negativity. But if you don’t want your day ruined by other people’s problems then you have to learn how to tune them out and focus on what matters most.

We hope this article has given you a good start on understanding what NLP anchoring is, when and how to use it, as well as some other practical considerations.

To consult our in-house NLP Experts you can get in touch with our team.

Cognitive bias (and often) is a non-factual, exaggerated pattern of thinking. Therefore, you will see things more negatively than they really are. In other words, a cognitive bias is your mind that leads you to believe in negative things about yourself and your world that is not always true. Everyone sometimes falls into cognitive bias. It’s part of the human experience. This happens especially when we are depressed. Our thoughts have a great influence on our feelings and actions. Treating these negative thoughts as facts can look at you and act on false assumptions.

Activity to find Irrational Thoughts-the Cognitive Distortion

Cognitive biases usually develop over time in response to side effects. Researchers have identified at least 10 common distorted thinking patterns.

1. Catastrophizing

2. Muster-Bating

3. Personalizing

4. Filtering

5. Monochromatic thinking:

6. Extrapolating :

7. Intolerant thinking

8. Emotional thinking

9. Mind-reading

10. Pessimistic thinking

Let’s explore this one by one: On a scale of let us see examine our thoughts

· 0- I never think this way

· 1- Seldom think this way

· 2-Frequently think this way

· 3-Usually think this way

CD Category  1- Catastrophizing

The term was coined by Albert Ellis and means that we inflate the situation negatively. To make a mountain of a molehill.

Story-

Some thoughts that keep on adding- such as, If you have to travel and you miss the bus, you start to connect everything with the failure of what is going to happen next to the extremes. If you have got low score marks in the 1st term exam, you assume that you will fail in the final exams.

In order to handle such thoughts, we need to “ Decatastrophize” by putting things in the Right perspective by putting the right questions of “ What next” and “ What can be done” for this. Often leading to “ Self-defeating thoughts an individual can be less confident in life and less resourceful to take necessary action. You might be termed as a “Drama Queen or Drama King” In any case, if you have done some mistake, it does not mean that the world will come to an end.

Story- 1st Choice-Consequence-2nd Choice- alternate consequence ( concept explanation)

CD Category 2- Muster bating

Albert Ellis was the one who created the Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy( REBT). This situation is termed as “Highly degree of Demandingness” In some cases “ Should-ing “ “Ought”, “ Have to” also add to this.

If you find yourself with the sentences containing, “ I must do this” “ I must make a good impression”, “ I ought to finish this by 6 pm” I should make sure that I arrive early” “ I have to get 99 marks” or “ I can’t be late”. Though some of these seem positive and Goal-oriented, when explored in the wrong direction can lead to a self-esteem issue.

In some cases you might also expect from others like “ She should not have done that”, “ You should not behave like that” “ You must do this” or “ Life should be fair and etc etc”

These words or thoughts led you to disappointment as we will not get what we want always. The secret is to have a practical way out with tone and idea with flexible views and approaches. One can buy rephrasing the demands into preferences wants and wishes can be more realistic.

The outcome is not always as we want and not getting the Outcome we aspire to means failure or disaster.

A simple rephrase from “ I must make them like me” to “ I would prefer them to like me” or “ I have to pass m exam “ to “ I want to pass my exam” can bring peace in your self and others.

 CD Category  3- Personalizing

Jumping to a conclusion when something is happening is Personalizing.

In some cases, it is good to take ownership of failures only if you have given your 100%. You blame yourself for the failure of someone. If a friend does not wave at you, you imagine that it is because he is upset with you- mind making stories

By personalizing we fail to take into account all the other possibilities and the most common solution/reason is missed ( such as the friend may not even have seen you, as he forgot his spectacles home )

Jumping to conclusions that something must be my fault( see must comes here) we take everything to self and every general comment and happening finds deeper troublesome meaning.

It is a waste of our energy and time. We start carrying the guilt that has nothing to do with the situation or person.

Thoughts like “It’s all about me” try thinking logically and looking at what is happening around you.

CD Category 4- Filtering

Ask yourself, if you have an open mind or you are selective about the information you take in.

Are you looking into the evidence that brings those thoughts or those that contradict

If you are not invited to a wedding by a friend X, you forgot that the same friend has 1000 times taken you out for a dinner or movie. ( in this case, he had restriction of inviting only family or small number at the wedding) evidence speak.

In many cases, people with “Negative Filters” tend to distort positive experiences. For example, when a Boy is selected for a job, he thinks “ as only a few applied for the job I was offered this” neglecting the achievement that is bigger than the thought

These mental filters color out the thoughts and the way we see the world.

Positivity might make you travel the difficult path too, however, negativity is sure to take you to Hell

Avoid evidence that constantly seeks out to you been incompetent, unattractive, inadequate, boring, and unlucky, stopping doing things as they seem unrealistic and not in your interest.

CD Category 5: Monochromatic Thinking

Often called Black and White thinking. We view our world in “ All or Nothing” terms. Everything is either fantastic or dreadful. I will Triumph or be a disaster, the event will be fabulous or disaster, the film will be super hit or super flop.

Life has various shades, it is not always 0 or 10. This leads to Perfectionism( which we might not be at that stage) and lead to jumping to assumptions( heard about jumping to conclusions) and leading away to self failure.

By evaluating our achievements, actions in a more realistic and measured manner in ways of shades, we are more empowered. Partial success is better than a feeling of total failure.

Revolves around our Self-esteem & Self-Confidence

CD Category 6- Extrapolating

Extrapolating is over-generalzing. Making global deductions based on a single event. Such as in Dubai everyone has a Camel. One untoward incident in news about a city and we deem that city to be unsafe.

One small mistake does not mean that the whole effort is Useless.

Often leading to stereotyping of people, places, and incidents. Universal Truths are made.

If a dog has bitten you, then you have a phobia and fear that all dogs will eat you up.

To be better-always ask yourself “ Where is the evidence?” & “ What does the evidence tell about my thought”

CD Category 7- Intolerant thinking

What do the sentences like “ I cannot stand it when people make noise when eating” “ I cannot stand when in a theatre someone uses his mobile phone” “ It is intolerable, I cannot bear people jumping queue”

By thinking in this way one inflates the problem and decreases the personal resource to deal with the difficulty.

We all have the capability to tolerate a lot more than you give yourself credit for. This helps in stress reduction connected with consequences.

Use the formula of STOP-LOOK-THINK by acknowledging that neither of these consequences is the end of the world.

Thinking about negative outcomes and not coping can land up in procrastination. Just because you cannot stand the smell of a hospital prevent you from visiting a good friend or relative who is sick and at Hospital.

CD Category 8- Emotional Thinking

Our feelings are important and serve us when we are making decisions or forming an opinion. Sometimes they lack facts.

Feelings are influenced by our imagination, previous experiences, physical health, degree of tiredness

Avoid feeling Paranoid of something that has no evidence( did you hear it earlier) and do not do something stupid in high emotions

Feelings are real but not always true and accurate.

Such behavior will keep you thinking “ something will happen, I have a feeling” this can also lead you to a negative frame of mind. Feelings can be worrisome, sometimes unreliable. Emotions can be a trap you in a false reality, like feeling that they might suffocate if they stand in a lift. Often leading to losing control of the situation.

CD Category  9- Mind- reading

Often we hear “ Before you tell me something-I know what you want to ..”

Such behavior is irritating for the other side and most of the time inaccurate.

The truth is we cannot know what others are thinking- sometimes we do not even know what we are going to think. Avoid making a wild guesses and exaggerating issues.

In such cases, it is best to Listen first, clarify next and then give your views and this is the most reliable way of communication.

CD Category 10- Pessimistic Thinking

What you think about, you will bring about.- Anonymous

In most cases, the result of whatever you do will depend on how you think about it. If in a race you think you will not come first- chances are you will never make it even if you are the only one who is running.

Our brain works on expectations and on what our programming is. The thought that you have will be expressed in your feelings and further in your body language, it is here that half of the batter is lost.

In order to overcome, one needs to be using the COP method., think positive which can prime us to be positive and toward successful outcomes

It is far better to have the odd disappointment and not achieve something which you believed you could than to limit your chances in the first place by brainwashing yourself that you won’t succeed anyway.

By being a Can Do person you always have a chance to go until you are successful.

Now that you have seen the above. Here are the scoring

Score

Cognitive Distortion Score – 0-5

Very healthy thinking style, providing that no one are has scored more than one – 6-12

You have a normal thinking style. Focus on the area where you have scored 2+ – 13-18

It is recommended that you keep a thought diary and work on each CD – 19-40

You need some professional help to help with your distortion. The good news is that all CD can be restructured with consistent practice and development.

Words from Cognitive Excellence

Any area that has a score of more than 2+ needs attention like a change in thought process will lead you to a Holistic and Healthy life ahead. So listen to your thoughts. Are you telling yourself that you have to do something? What’s the kinder way to stay motivated without getting into negative thoughts? Cognitive Excellence can help you to get rid of Cognitive Distortions.

Elevate yourself through the power of your mind, and not degrade yourself, for the mind can be the friend and also the enemy of the self

I, Me & Myself a self-introspective inward journey program by K hsejaR. The whole program revolves around understanding self(I), Understanding Others( ME- Mind and Emotions the spectacles we see everything around us) and Myself- ( the total being who is one with every part of the universe) a step ahead towards- Understanding your connection with the Higher-self.

All the sessions of this Module, which are tailor made after a preliminary brainstorming with individuals and will revolve around concepts that will give clarity in many aspects of life, values, understanding of tools of Sadhana based on his unique concept designed by Rajesh- The YES( Yogic Principles, Endurance & Sadhana)  Model,  that will help an individual traverse the path of self-realization by self-effort. The program will have the outcome of :

1. Clarity in thoughts.
2. Understanding of emotions.
3. Corrections in the behaviour.

The journey of I, Me & Myself will be through the process on Knowledge building (Jnana Yoga), Emotional Maturity(Bhakti Yoga), Doing Domain(Karma Yoga) and Process modification(Kriya-Yoga) leading to ultimate union (Raja Yoga) inculcating a blend of the Western methodologies as well as the depth of Eastern Wisdom of Indian scriptures in these modules.

Each session is unique and is tailor-made for participants based on their interests, the people they are interacting with the environment they wish to improve. Each session is titled aptly to give an overview of the session and the content includes the journey of change. Some earlier sessions were:

1. I & Me & Myself – Self Development value-based session.

2. Finding Oneself- activity-based workshop on finding one’s strengths

3. A Talk on Happiness Formula

4. A Talk on 6 qualities of a Leader in making

5. Disha- Directing self towards a value-based life

6. A Talk based on Stories of Change

7. A talk Finding the Changemaker in me

8. Why I do What I do, a talk to find the purpose of life

9. A talk on Bollywood and Seva

10. A talk on Human Psychology- Change your script

11. A Talk on How to FOOL( in the exam for students and in life for Adults)

12. A Talk on Finding Kabir in Life through (his Dohe)

13. A Talk on Seven Habits of Highly effective people( based on Steven Covey)

14. A talk on Magic in life & Magic as Art

15. A talk on 52- Values in 52 weeks.

Why this initiative:

In my journey for the past 20 years, into the corporate, self-employment, as an employee, being a Volunteer in the Social Sector and various roles, where I could interact with more than 10000+ Youth and Adults in various forums and talks that I gave, I explored that the core of every human being is searching the path to be Happy and he explores to find happiness everywhere, without knowing that it is deep inside him.

Education, Environment & Eagerness takes him to places yet, he is searching for true happiness. Some events are good and some events end up as pain in an individual. There are those events that pass by your side and some people who play an important role in your life. Life lessons are best learned when you are not looking out for them.

Standpoints (the inbuilt rules you make for yourself) in life are the greatest pointers that tell you about the direction of your life. Few Standpoints that keep on resonating in me have made a big impact on me and my behavior and I believe can also impact others being universal in nature are:

·        Every human behavior can be changed

·        Small changes can bring Big Difference in life

·        The Place I am now is my heaven and I happily live here

·        Success comes to those who celebrate others success

·        Your journey is Your journey and My Journey is mine

·        I reap what I sow and there is a season to sow and a season to reap

·        I treat others as I wish to be treated

·        This too shall pass-Every every beginning has an end to the next beginning.

And it is through Abhyasa (Constant Practice), Vairagya( Consistent letting go and analyzing sensual connections), one can with Consistent Directed Self Motivated Efforts achieve the life he is searching for.   

When you drive in the Dream CAR of yours, the Commitment, Accountability, and Being Responsible for what we have committed ourselves to, the journey is sure to lead us to the Ultimate Ananda( Joy).

Implementation of any habit or change we take onto us is based on the values we live by to achieve the above, hence one can make a resolution to move ahead with the alignment of Values, Beliefs, and Faith in oneself.

In this present VUCA world we can achieve the above if and only if one understands the core of:

·        If I get the man inside me right, the world around me will get right

·        There is no Control Z in life, just learn and move on, failures are Manure for your success

·        Thinking futurist in life is the way forward secret of secrets

·        When I take My life as my responsibility, everything becomes accountable

·        U-Turns are essential for relationships in life and build a strong foothold

·        Balance between being a choice Maker and consequence receiver is the essence of decision making

·        Goal of every Goal is Peace,  and I will work For Peace/With Peace everything can be achieved

We all understand that any day can be the first day of my new life, so why not take this BIG step and resolution now

Come let’s commit I, Me, myself to the small changes in life which will bring the BIG CHANGES that are going to be manifested all around me.

Till we meet next by Being Happi- enjoi and Spread Joi and may your find your bliss today……and everyday.

( the alphabet “i” is used to represent that life should revolve around “i”, the true self of an individual  and not “y” Why)