An adult who has endured a lot of pain and always taking responsibility to protect, provide, care, nurture, and support everybody around them comes with a lot of INNERCHILD WOUNDS.
What is Inner Child Wounding?
It is the most crucial part of our growing up environment and the people surrounded by us.
When you grow up in an environment where the primary caretakers are emotionally disconnected, mentally disturbed, physically abandoning or/and spiritually abusive, you get deeply wounded as an adolescent.
You start to live in fear, scarcity, victimhood and emotional isolation to feel safe in the world and learn to protect yourself with unhealthy defense mechanisms.
You become a more insecure, angry, resentful, non empathetic, controlling, manipulative and uncertain character as an adult with the belief that you are doing all this to look after the child within you who nobody understands or care about.
This is how you disconnect with your own awareness and live constantly in fight, flight or freeze mode.
Signs that you are seeking for parental love and guardian support due to inner child wounding:
- You want people to take responsibility for your mistakes
- You want people to accommodate your unaccountable behavior
- You want people to prepare for you a comfortable living environment
- You want people to take responsibility for your financial independence
- You want people to have no boundaries in the relationship dynamics
- You want people to constantly validate your worth and skills
- You want people to feel guilty and grieve for your disappointment
- You want people to not have a personal life outside your relationship
- You want people to take your consent for their independent choices
- You want people to not bring up your toxic patterns for discussions
- You want people to take up challenges for your stability and security
- You want people to take stress for your mental distortions
- You want people to change their perspectives to please you
- You want people to pursue those interests that only involve you
The above expectations becomes your primary behaviour because you never learned how to navigate life and receive abundant support from your parents and mentors in your childhood.
You start right now with learning and understanding the child within you, their needs, their fear, their pain, their desires, and their innocence. This gives you better clarity of who you are deep inside and how well you can nurture the child with self parenting habits. You begin to heal your damaged nervous system with the inner child expert and regulate to prevent yourself from further self destruction. When your nervous system is over activated, you cannot feel calm at all due to fight & flight mode trauma responses. Now there are 2 core needs of the nervous system that have to be met for the adult to heal and align with their balanced, harmonious, secured and enhanced self. One is SAFETY and the other is CONNECTION. When the body start feeling SAFE again as it felt in the mothers womb, it can open up to develop CONNECTION in the external world. Until then, we are bunch of scarred and scared zombie bodies that does not know how to embrace life anymore.
Let’s understand extensively how SAFETY can be achieved in our daily experiences:
- Establish routine
- Make safe spaces
- Chakra meditation
- Build safe friendships
- Set healthy boundaries
- Safe work environment
- Somatics and Bodywork
- Self regulation techniques
- Innerchild Wounds Healing
Here is how CONNECTION can be achieved in our daily experiences:
- Physical touch
- Active listening
- Vulnerability
- Shared experiences
- Express gratitude
- Shared laughter
- Social activities
- Words of affirmation
- Maintaining eye contact
When we indulge in the above habits frequently without negligence, we can see our nervous system getting regulated and the feeling of SAFETY and CONNECTION gets manifested as the consequences. Cognitive Excellence help individuals regulate their nervous system and claim Brain – Body – Heart
coherence with Inner Child Healing. If you are confused about your behavioral patterns, unhealthy obsessions, and broken relationships that is keeping you UNSAFE and DISCONNECTED, join us on a clarity call to learn more about the healing process